You know what the English language needs?
A word for the feeling you get when you realize that you wish you had known your last time doing something or having something or seeing someone was the last time, because if you knew, you would have savored it more.
We get it in little doses when we don't realize the last bite of our meal is the last, that strange bit of disappointment when you see the plate is empty, and in larger doses when we think about the last time we saw or talked with a friend or family member who has passed away.
It's like nostalgia, but at the same time, sharper and not as gentle and warm.
It's an odd sense of regret, but usually tinged with sweetness.
But perhaps it's better that there is no word for it.
Perhaps it's better that we don't pollute the feeling in our desperation to explain it.
6 comments:
Beautiful! I really identify with this! I think you're right... There is no good word for that feeling, but if there were such a word, it would cheapen the experience. It reminds me of something CS Lewis wrote which happens to be just beyond memory at the moment.
Yes, someone needs to invent a word for that feeling...it would be a beautiful and perfect word.
Jessica
Oh, this is lovely, Keaghan! Simply lovely, though perhaps the feeling you discussed wouldn't wholly be considered lovely. I love this post, though. I do love it. :)
It's like C.S. Lewis's joy, but backwards; we are looking back to something we didn't know we were losing, rather than looking forward to something we don't really know that we are gaining.
It would be a beautiful word, but beautiful in its tragedy and emptiness; not in warmth or sweetness (at least not very much... bittersweetness maybe).
I anticipate returning here regularly by the way. =)
~ Timothy
Beautiful post!
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